SLOW RECOVERY

So if people see me walking around, they immediately stare at my leg.

Yup my leg, more so whats on my leg than anything else. Recently (3 months on friday) had surgery on my archillies, and am currently in a moon boot. I got rid of the crutches about a month ago! HATE those things with a passion. I slowly get to take my boot off this week! So instead of people staring at my boot, they'll just be staring at me hobbling really REALLY slowly because this walking business is actually quite difficult when you've lost pretty much all muscles in a leg.

Just to make it clear, both those legs are mine. Yup! My flatmates are calling me peg leg atm cos from the knee up, my leg looks normal but as soon as you see the calf, it looks like a "peg leg".
I don't actually know what a peg leg is, but I'm thinking it's sorta like a pirates leg, you know.. those wooden things??
It's nearly been a whole year since I tore my archillies, I can remember it so vividly! Was on a school tournament, and tore it in the second game. Yeahp it was ONLY THE SECOND GAME! I cried when I found out they were going to put a cast on me and that I wouldn't be able to play, it was so devastating! I always look foward to school tournament. It started off great, not even 10 minutes into the game and I hear a "pop". It felt like my heel just broke( is that even possible?). It didn't feel like someone kicked me in the back of the leg, and it didnt hurt at all. What hurt was the fact that I knew I had just fucked my leg over. I hopped off the field and refused any help from my team mates, telling them to "fuck off, and focus on the game"

It's nearly been a whole year since i tore my archillies (September 1st) but only 3 months since surgery, thats 5 months of me being fucked over by the publice hospital and physio. But only 1 month of settling into a new town and seeing a different physio before being refferred to a specialist who then refferred me to a surgeon. If i didnt move to christchurch for uni, I wouldn't of had surgery, and I wouldn't have my hopes up for being able to run. So a big FUCK YOU first of all to the Taupo hospital who said that my archillies was only partially torn, WHEN IT OBVIOUSLY WASN'T, and to the Hawke's Bay hospital who each and every time I went in, said that my leg was healing well, when it was actually only scar tissue they were feeling. The fact that I waited for over an hour every time, only to be seen by a different doctor and be asked the same questions pissed me off. One of them couldn't even tell how long it had been since I had tore it and said I could start running again. He was wrong.

I get depressed when I see people running and it fucks me off that people who have the privilage of not being crippled are usually really lazy! Get off your fucking arses and exercise every once in a while.

On a positive note, I have a pretty good scar and am thinking of getting a tattoo to compliment it. Hopefully I can afford getting one soon.

Depressed but hopeful.

Jezzah

xoxo

So I don't have much to say today, haven't had much to say for a while now, I'm guessing this was just another obsession, well not really.. I mean I'm still contributing to the blog. Just can't think of anything to write.

Everything is the same as last time, trying to study, but can't really be bothered. Feel like a fail, but convincing myself that it's all good. But feeling like I've completely let everybody down. I can't keep doing something I don't like though. What's the point in feeling like shit everyday, dreading to get up because you hate what you do? Oh! look, I have something to talk about.

I say live your life doing what you love AND try new things! How can you say you don't like something if you haven't tried it out first? Just because it looks weird or seems out of your comfort zone, go for it. Well try new things that are legal and not life threatening, although illegal things are pretty good, and there are plenty of things which could be classed as life threatening. LIKE DRIVING!

SHIT SCARED of driving, that's why I have no drivers licence, just can't be bothered driving/ learning to drive.

Changing Subject, went to the tattoo shop today! Might start saving money and designing me a new tattoo.. To compliment my epic scar!

yup time to go to bed,
not much interesting to write

Jezzah.
xoxo

OH MAYN! sunday drinking at an Irish bar is AWESOME!

EPICNESS

On tuesday the 3rd of August, I travelled to Auckland and attended my first ever concert...
IT WAS FUCKING EPIC!! gotta love Thirty seconds to Mars!

They are AMAZING! Although the venue was quite small, EVERYONE had an epic time and it meant that we all had a clear view of the band!

Me and two of my friends did a 24 hr trip and were completely dead afterwards but it was ALL WORTH IT! The opening act was gay and I'm pretty sure everyone was thinking "just get off the stage". They definately weren't the right act to accompany thirty seconds to mars.

As soon as Thirty seconds to Mars stepped on stage, the crowd went wild and my feet all of the sudden didn't hurt. You could tell that everyone there were true fans and that they didn't want the night to end.
I don't know what else to say really, Except that THEY WERE FUCKING EPICALLY AMAZING!

I took a shit load of photos that night, came up with a couple good ones. LOVE the top photo. You can see the whole band in action! It's pretty epic really. What can I say apart from alrounded epicness?

Definately going to see them again!

Hopefully I wont be crippled, so I'll actually be able to go crazy! Was a little downer being one of the only people who couldn't jump! Can't wait for next time!

Think I'm in love.

Jezzah

xoxo